Stop ruining the life is the first step towards personal development. The psychiatrist Christophe André provides us with a program of detoxification.
– Updated on February 16, 2019 at 12:10
To succeed in life, it is to build a building in three dimensions : material, relational, and emotional. In other words : to achieve its objectives, while maintaining good relations and a good image, without sacrificing its well-being. A social success, which would leave us unhappy is no longer regarded by our contemporaries as the ideal of a successful life. But the dimensions and material relational obey a certain logic, as the emotional dimension of a successful life, with aspects of the unconscious (neuroses) and biological (our temperament) turns out to be more difficult to control.
Humans always knew the difficulty immense to achieve happiness. Aristotle taught that ” the wise man does not aim at pleasure, but the absence of suffering “. Closer to us, Jules Renard wrote in his “Journal” (Gallimard) : “happiness is the silence of unhappiness. “How, then, does not make it unhappy ? Here are seven tips, seven directions instead, which already represent a whole program…
1) Make the decision to go well
A statement of the obvious ? The not so obvious. The philosopher Alain used to say : “You need to want to be happy and put his. If we are stuck in the position of the spectator is impartial, leaving only entrance to happiness and open doors, it’s the sadness that
to enter the house. “It is always easier, less expensive, energy-psychological, let go the woe. Conversely, lasting well-being requires effort.
To explain this, first, there are personal reasons : there are clear differences between individuals with respect to their ability to feel good. And factors specific to the human kind : the evolution seems to have given us the existence of negative emotions, the function of which is to increase the chances of survival of the species. Fear fosters flight over fight, the anger intimidates opponents or rivals, sadness attracts compassion, etc., But nature, if she had the sake of our survival, was hardly that of our quality of life. The spectrum of emotions and moods positive is much smaller, more labile, and more expensive in terms of energy psychological.
2) Do not leave too much space for the feeling of unhappiness
If the negative emotions are occasional, short lived, and disrupt the medium of our daily lives, we can expect that they will disappear by themselves. But flirting with evil, and which is promoted in particular by the romanticism in the Nineteenth century, has some dangers as the psychology begins to study better. Give free rein to a negative emotion may prolong the duration. Previously, it was believed at a certain cathartic effect : complain would alleviate his suffering, for example. It seems that this is often the reverse : the complaint is repeated, and no answer can turn into a victim of life. And unhappiness feeds on itself : the more we let go, the more it prolongs the duration. In addition, giving in to the feeling of unhappiness will pass gradually from a negative emotion one-time – one feels unhappy, to a negative vision sustainable – it was an unhappy life. Finally, it prepares the return of negative emotions later : the phenomenon is well known in depression, which has a very strong tendency to recurrence, and it has been shown in regard to the sad mood daily.