When Emily learns that she has an aggressive breast cancer, she chose to have the surgery quickly. But as the reconstruction must wait, he must learn to live with only one breast… To tame his scar, she then asked her friends to ” decorate “. All the drawings on his skin that she has photographed and collected on the site MoNoBoob. His goal : to de-stigmatize the image of the body after a mastectomy.
– Updated on February 13, 2019 at 17:01
An aggressive cancer
“I was not surprised to learn that I had breast cancer. For a year, I felt that I was sick. My father had died, my couple was flying into pieces after twenty years of common life. I had the impression of flowing. On the other hand, I was shocked, this is the speed with which everything followed. Only two weeks after the diagnosis, I removed a breast.
The cancer was aggressive. And I was a bit slow to view when I felt a lump in my breast. Why ? Because of the balls in the breasts, I’ve had it for twenty years, and until then, it was still in benin. I had already been operated on five times every two years over the past ten years, I am withdrawing adénofibromes, which, according to the doctors, would not likely turn into cancer. The irony of history, the very last time, I had asked my gynaecologist that I will be removing both breasts once and for all. I couldn’t take any more of these operations to repeat. Yes, but the medical statistics were not “in my favor” and the doctors refused the procedure. Without listen to me, without knowing anything about my background, they have decreed that this might me traumatize. A year later, the cancer was there…
A choice was offered to me
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(Re)live without within. Those who have not gone through the test of cancer do not include. Yet, 80 % of women refuse the reconstruction after a mastectomy. These new amazons we explain why.
I would have been able to do otherwise. Choose to follow the treatments and surgery later. This would have allowed me to achieve in the same time the reconstruction of my breast. But I didn’t want to cohabit for several months with cancer, there, in my body.
As soon as my decision, my breast began to occupy all my thoughts. I was trying to project myself into the life that was waiting for me… without him. I didn’t think of my survival, no, but in my breast. How was I going to feel without it ? Was I going to have to put my life on hold ? While I was crushed by the separation for several months, that my sexual life was non-existent, suddenly, the only thing I thought was that I wanted to enjoy my body as long as it was still whole. It became my priority, my obsession. I didn’t want my ex-husband is the last person to have me affected before the operation. I know that it was also a way of not thinking about everything else, but for me it was vital. Cancer is a struggle between life and death. This libido, which if ignited, this was the life. So I cancelled all my appointments with my oncologist and the hospital for me to focus on this goal. In the same way, I am not hidden from those who have ” accompanied in this process “. There was an emergency, a few days after, I was going to switch into the unknown.
The discovery of my scar
I remember at my alarm clock, we came to change my dressing and as I turned his head. The nurse was moved and said to me to look at my scar. I refused, she insisted in putting me in guard : I should not be in denial. But I remained firm. “You gave me removed my breast, it is for all of my life, I’ll have the time to make me. But here, immediately, in front of you, I don’t want to look at my scar. “
I put fifteen days to do it and I found it quite acceptable. Not at all scary. Today, I would even say that with this scar runs diagonally across the heart, to the place of the breast, I feel good. I am outside as I am inside. It is a felt very personal – I do not ask anyone to join – but I was soothed.