I am very discreet

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Prudish or shy, they claim : to live happy, live hidden ! But are they really happy ? That hides their modesty ? Can they learn the lightness ? Freedom ?

Dawn Aimelet
– Updated on February 18, 2019 at 17:30

Summary



Emma, the lovely owner of 38 years, ” militates against the grand unpacking. I don’t like to show off, as young women of today. I don’t want to be able to have access to me, to my intimacy.”

Where is the modesty ?

First, it can be learned. Children, we are sorely lacking. “Then, around 7 or 8 years, because it incorporates the existence of the gaze of the other, she settles down and starts to close the door of the bathroom,” notes Sophie Horse, a psychologist. But it is also a concept very personal. The psychiatrist Jean-Christophe Seznec, author of I stopped fighting my body (PUF, 2014) explains that ” the physical distance between the self and the other is not the same as the distance psychic. We may feel helpless in revealing clothes when others will be comfortable in the attire of Eve.”

Am I old fashioned ?

Discover

To read

The Sociology of the body of David Le Breton. The sociologist, examines our relationship to the body, the object of a thousand representations (PUF, “que sais-je ?”, 2012).

Sophie’s Horse was found that ” modesty is no longer in fashion. Once a symbol of virtue, it is today ringardisée. Now, it’s about being uninhibited and extroverted “. And if it is not ? “The feeling of being broken arises. It assimilates the fact to be very modest to a weakness so that it is only a judgment. “The” very ” said the self-assessment according to a standard. Such negative beliefs are a source of insecurity to both differentiate yourself from the group, weakens the feeling of belonging.

I am afraid to be judged

Hide our body returns to hide us. “Modesty can be a defense reaction,” Dr. Seznec. We protect ourselves from a very archaic because our emotional brain we ordered. “Of course, we can have the fear of being judged by the other. “But we can also be afraid of our own emotions : to feel shame or excitement, for example. “We are preserving everything that we could lay bare ; yet our feelings reveal our whole being. It is less the fear of being seen as the one to be seen.

I want to be loved

Virginia Megglé, psychoanalyst, raises an inconsistency. “”I don’t want to be seen” is a negative formulation and say : “I want to be seen”. To be loved and recognized. The great shy deploy treasures of imagination to disguise themselves, a sign of a flaw narcissistic. “And the psychoanalyst, to clarify that the look that we have on our appearance is in reality conditioned by our personal history, by our emotional experiences, bodily and psychic. If they have been rewarding, we will gladly accept them we open. Failing that, the image we have of ourselves will be complicated to appreciate. And so to share.

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