True heart-wrenching for singles, forced labour of love for couples… And if Valentine’s day was based on the guilty men ? The sociologist Jean-Claude Kaufmann decodes what lies behind the small hearts in red velvet and bouquets of flowers.
– Updated on February 13, 2019 at 16:48
Some dates are daunting for singles. But nothing can equal in horror Valentine’s day. The small hearts in red velvet, or chocolate are all heart-wrenching. And don’t talk about going out to dinner that night ! How to find his place without feeling singled out between the rows of tables for two with a candle ? Officially, Valentine’s day is the celebration of love. In reality, it is much more a celebration of the couple, or even the norm in marriage, which stigmatizes those whose private life is different. With Valentine’s day, there are those who raze the walls. And all of this without the talk of the trade ! Valentine’s day is the feast of florists and restaurateurs. But this does not explain everything. In spite of the marketing efforts are considerable, the festival of the grandmothers, or that of the secretaries have made it a flop. If Valentine’s day has become such a problem and continues, is that there are reasons. A above all : the guilt of men.
The expectations are not unanimous vis-à-vis the couple. Many women dream of wonders, a continual attention. Men are not against, in principle. But in reality, they are initially attracted to an ideal of comfort, while simple, is happiness of the moment, without taking any risk or tension. The shift is so obvious, and the men are well aware of this. They know that they regularly create a wave of dissatisfaction among the other.
Valentine’s day is a clearing symbolic, a great catch-up. But a catch-up mandatory. Station to the man who would forget the date!!! Now that the little hearts are everywhere, the absence of a gift is tantamount to a declaration of love. And there are worse. The bouquet of flowers too common (the same roses for years) is likely to report a feeling a little bland and routine, or even a love in decline. So you need to do better than what we have already done (an unexpected gift aimed at the most just of secret aspirations, a declaration published by way of press, etc). Alas ! the poor lovers then engages in a vicious spiral, where it will take him every year to invent more. As much as it should not do less than his colleagues, friends, cousins, or neighbors.
The men were blessed Valentine’s day at the beginning. One bouquet was enough to erase the guilt accumulated over the months. In fact, bouquet after bouquet, they built the trap group that would soon shut them up. Here they are now condemned ritually forced labour of love, of being the prince charming one day.