It is often believed that letting go is simply to stay calm, become zen. But the letting go is much, much more! It is a true vision of life that cultivates the courage to accept the change and we have to give up in the face of what we cannot control. Because it is sometimes in losing something that we find it much more!
The letting go is to be able to change his view of the world, to be open to the unexpected without having to fight constantly. Letting go rhymes also with acceptance, forgiveness, and asks sometimes to grieve the loss of what we keep. He has probably been given to meet people that ran continuously their anger against details that you seemed to be futile. These people poison their lives, and maintain an inexhaustible inner revolt that turmoil around them, and leads them to loneliness. But an attitude as extreme is not necessary to imprison them in thoughts and emotions that are negative. The inability to accept the events provides a lot of suffering and can continue for a lifetime. The psychiatrist Victor Frankl was one of the first to speak of the benefits have to accept what we cannot change.
“Zone of control” versus “area of undue concern”
Think for a moment, your activities and your concerns. You will find that you have no control over some of them, so that you control directly from other activities, those that give you results. The first lie in the area of undue concern, and seconds in the control area.
To let go, you need to focus on what you can change. You direct your energy on what brings about improvement in your life. On the contrary, if you waste your energy worrying about things you can’t change, you will be feeding that frustration and resentment. For example, if you just pointed out the weaknesses in others, to criticize the slightest detail that bothers you, but on which you have no control, you increase your sense of being a victim and you refuse to accept responsibility to build your life.
Follow his path through the “letting go”
The american author Guy Finley has wonderfully enriched the reflection on letting go. Younger, he has achieved great success in his career, but it was not enough to make him happy. He understood that the true richness of life lies beyond material success.
Here are a few strategies that Guy Finley suggests to let go :
- Accomplish a goal and exceed your personal limits.
- Eliminate the resentment.
- Cultivate integrity and refuse to compromise you.
- Flee from the temptation to blame others or events, which takes away the power over your life.
- Relax and try to eliminate your fears.
As Guy Finley, you can engage on the way of your personal accomplishment in seeking your mission, finding the meaning that will palpitate your life. By learning to let go, you give yourself the means to live in perfect harmony with yourself.
1. Enrich your vision of the world and get out of your habits
To let go is to refuse the imperatives that direct us to be perfect, to succeed, to always please others, etc Decrease rather you’re banned, and the conclusions that limit your life.
2. Trust the other
We can not control the actions or thoughts of the people around us. Thus, it is better to accept others as they are rather than wanting to change them, and even “save”. If you let others be themselves, thanks to your trust, they will respond more to your expectations.
3. Cultivate openness and adapt to change
Our beliefs are sometimes the worst prisons. The more our vision of things is narrowly defined, less the events and people are associated with, which leads to sadness and frustration. If you value the adaptation, the change will become synonymous with fun and learning.
4. Free yourself from your negative emotions
Some emotions prevent us from accepting what we cannot change: the hatred, the grudge, the resentment, the vengeance… become aware of the fact that these emotions suffocate you and bring nothing constructive to your life. You only have power over you. If you forgive, you will experience a feeling liberating!
5. Adapt your expectations to the events and learn from the failure
If you have expectations that are too high or unrealistic to others, and to life, you may experience many disappointments. Replace rather your expectations by trends and preferences. You will enjoy each failure, not to mourn, but to rejoice in the new learning that you have done and that will bring you closer to the success.
6. Don’t stay chained to the past
If you are stuck constantly to the memories of your failures, your disappointments, and your challenges, there is a good chance that your resentment you chained to the past. This inability to let go is ruining your inner peace. Accept the past is the best way to enrich your future.
7. Cultivate a positive vision of yourself
How many times do we refuse to forgive simply for pride, because we say to ourselves: “This is not up to me to make an effort!”. This way of thinking maintains the remembrance and the pain of the offense, and we cling to the past. If you cultivate a positive vision of yourself, you know that every time you forgive, you do it first for you and not for show to others a “force” that you don’t have to prove to anyone.